Creative Calm Online: October 2005

Success by Association

Success by Association (or why some people respond to positive suggestion more readily than others). Have you ever been curious as to why some people respond to positive suggestion more readily than others? Maybe you are one of those people who haven’t had the results you hoped for with hypnosis or self-hypnosis. However, there may have been a missing element you weren’t told about. We are all familiar with the expression “guilt by association.” During the formative years who wasn’t told to be careful about the company they kept? An expanded view of this idea may also explain why some people are not able to make desired changes in their lives.

One element of “association” concerns our self-image- which aspects of our personality and life history do we most identify with. Every person is a unique combination of both positive and negative traits and experiences. However, a major difference between successful people and those whom we might term “unlucky’ seems to be a matter of focus.

As a rule happy and successful people associate fully with their triumphs. They consider their mistakes and failures to be valuable learning experiences, however they disassociate from them emotionally and therefore do not continue to be tormented by them. So when a new challenge arrives they take from their past the belief, “I have met other challenges before and I am going to do the same here as well.”

The opposite is true for people we might describe as unlucky. Generally speaking, these individuals are very adept at recalling and vividly re-experiencing their disappointments and failures. Yet they have a distinct difficulty reliving their victories, either disregarding them as accidents or actually forgetting them. Yet chances are that in objective reality the number of good things in their past or present are not below average and may indeed be higher. Rather it is where the attention is being directed.

This inability to associate with the “better self” may be one of the reasons why some folks have difficulty responding to beneficial suggestions, whether from others or self-delivered. For example, being asked to imagine “feeling proud and confident as you firmly and decisively say no to the idea of a cigarette,” is going to be quite difficult if you cannot recall feeling proud and confident! An emotional reference point needs to be established first.

If this describes you, take heart and consider going on a mission to recover some empowering memories. One idea is to write out an autobiography of your better moments, perhaps using old photo albums as a guide. Revivify those memories to the point to where you actually feel the positive emotional state return. If interested, I have developed a home study self-hypnosis audio CD program that integrates these ideas called “Quick Fix Self Hypnosis.” Visit Hypnosis Audio CDs to learn more, other titles available as well.

Fascinating Tale of Mind Power

One of the most fascinating tales of mind power involves 20th century mentalist and psychic Wolf Messing. A man who was something of a superstar in his day, Messing fled his native Poland after Hitler put a bounty on his head for publicly predicting that Germany would be defeated if they attacked Russia and that Hitler would die shortly thereafter.

Messing wound up in Russia, where the dictator Stalin heard of his renowned powers. Highly skeptical, Stalin had a message sent to Messing that he wanted to put his abilities to a test. He issued the challenge that Messing was to visit him at his countryside compound within the next 48 hours-while bypassing his security in the process. Keep in mind that Stalin was both one of the most powerful and hated rulers of all time and that the level of protection around him was second to none.

Much to Stalin’s surprise, two days later while working in his study he looked up from his desk and saw a strange man standing before him! Needless to say the mysterious visitor was Wolf Messing, who had managed to enter one of the most secure locations in the world undetected. Years later Messing explained that he accomplished this feat by repeating to himself over and over, “I am Beria,” the last name of Stalin’s feared chief of the secret police, Laventri Beria. In doing so, Messing apparently convinced himself temporarily that he was Beria and put forth such a confident appearance that he was able walk right past Stalin’s guards, even though he bore no physical resemblance to the man.

Those who studied Messing generally concur he was individual who had well above average mental talents. Yet the special way he used the power of words and language is applicable to us all. Think of an area of life where you are confident in and contrast it with one where confidence is lacking. Quite often the internal dialogue or self-talk is dramatically different between the two. We can often bolster our selves by simply repeating a word such as “strong” or “confident” a half-dozen times or so, as power words like these carry strong subconscious associations and can often help us perform at an optimal level. What are your special power words?
To learn more about the powers of the mind visit Dr. Jim's Hypnosis Website

Commitment, Consistency & Persistence

Making the decision to change for the better is one that often takes a fair amount of courage. It means making a break with past patterns that were familiar and thus in a way comfortable, even when they were harmful. The transformation process also involves sustaining the new habits over time and resisting the pull of past conditioning. Here commitment, persistence and consistency come into play.

With smoking cessation, it cannot ever be emphasized strongly enough that once you quit you cannot cheat and have “just one” as that will only set you up for eventual failure. You can’t be a part-time non-smoker, you have either quit or you haven’t. In weight management, the successful individual will have to resist the siren’s call promising another effortless “quick fix” in weight loss and remember that no such beast exists, that only consistent, long-term changes in eating and exercise behaviors have been proven to provide meaningful success. The yo-yo dieter just gets fatter and less fit over time. The golfer who wants to shave 5 strokes off his score is going to have to practice more, which means time will have to be subtracted from something else (i.e.- watching TV). Commitment involves simply doing what needs to be done.

One way of avoiding commitment is the excuse that “the time isn’t just right yet.” Yet is there ever really a “right” time? Legend has it that during Rome’s colonization of Britain, Julius Caesar had his legionnaires watch as he had the ships that had carried them over there burned and sunk in the English Channel, leaving them no option for retreat and no choice but to press ahead. Now I am not suggesting that you do anything quite that drastic (especially if it involves any horseplay with matches), but there will never be a better time to show the world and your self what you are really made of than NOW.

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The Importance of Positive Imagery

Imagine if you will that we had a sturdy plank that was two feet wide and twenty feet long and that we raised it one foot off the ground. Most of us would have no problem walking from one end to the other. What if the same plank was put between two ten story buildings, how many of us would be comfortable in walking it’s length then? Yet the activity in both instances would essentially be the same, that of just putting one foot in front of the other. What really makes the difference?

The main variation would be that when the plank was raised up high, the dominant image in our minds would most likely be the unpleasant and emotionally charged picture of what failure would entail. Although we would want to avoid falling at all costs, the power of that image would actually begin to influence our physiology in an unconscious way, causing us to wobble or even fall (if we even found the nerve to get up there in the first place). This principle applies in many situations.

Very often we have set out to lose weight, quit smoking, find a better relationship or to become more successful and abundant, only to fall short of our desired outcomes. Eventually what happens is that although we have the best intentions, based on past experience the primary image in our minds is the anxiety provoking picture of failure. Unconsciously we then make the subtle or not-so-subtle adjustments to bring that image to fruition, further strengthening the negative cycle.

Although there are techniques in hypnosis counseling that can help disrupt this type of undesirable pattern, it is recognized that self-reinforcement afterwards is a must. Does your dominant mental image support your desired outcome? Remain focused on what you want, not what you are hoping to avoid!

The reference for this article "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind" by Dr. Joseph Murphy is available at Amazing Books

FRUSTRATED?

Anyone who has ever minded babies or toddlers is acquainted with the notion of “low frustration tolerance.” At the earliest stages of development we aren’t able to meet even our most basic needs. So an angry cry or a frustrated “I can’t do it!” is not only logical, it is necessary as well. Under ideal circumstances the parents gradually encourage the child towards greater levels of independence. However, since frustration is a strategy that “worked” (i.e. – get annoyed-whine/cry-someone else comes and solves the problem), to some degree we are all somewhat loathe to abandon it completely. Nonetheless, it can be a significant roadblock in adult life. Its one thing to need and ask for help when appropriate and another thing altogether to act helpless.

In the field of Psycho-Cybernetics (literally steering one’s own mental programming), the idea of “positive aggression,” is promoted. This is neither childish frustration or an outwardly or inwardly hostile response. Rather it is transforming the energy from dissatisfaction into a steely-eyed kind of determination and optimism, “there is a solution and I AM going to find it.” Whether you are looking to transform your body, conquer the smoking habit or create a more successful life, “positive aggression,” can help you get there.

The reference for this article "The New Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz and Dan Kennedy is available at: Amazing Books

Relevant Quote: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in everysituation; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Sir Winston Churchill.

Procrastination: Read this NOW!

Whether its becoming more organized, doing schoolwork or finally getting into the exercise habit, procrastination is an all too common obstacle. We may start out with the best of intentions, yet somehow manage to talk ourselves out of even getting started. Luckily there is a little known persuasion technique that may be useful to you.

The way we internalize information has an effect on how we feel about it. Generally speaking, when think about an activity we don’t like, we tend to focus on all the miniscule details that will be involved. For example, the reluctant exerciser may dwell on the fact that going to the gym involves, “fighting traffic and driving all the way out to the health club, then trying to find a parking spot, then hoping a locker is available and having to get out of my regular clothes” and so on. In contrast, when we think about something we enjoy doing, we usually divide the steps into larger chunks of information. “I’m going to the gym, going to workout and then head home.” Notice the difference?

In persuasive language if we want to influence another towards a particular behavior we should describe it in a way that it will be relatively quick, easy and simple for them. If we are trying to persuade someone away from a given course of action we will want to emphasize the complexity and difficulty involved. In a similar way we can use the same technique on ourselves in areas of living where we want to end procrastination. Perhaps there is a lot of hidden wisdom in Nike’s “Just Do It!” slogan.
Note: The reference for this article: Dr. David Lieberman’s “Never Be Lied to Again,” is available at Amazing Books